by Leslie De Morais
Valued – [val-yood] (adj.) 1) highly regarded or esteemed: a valued friend. 2) estimated; appraised: jewels valued at $100,000. 3) having a value of a specified kind: a triple-valued offer. 1
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies. – Proverbs 31:10 (NIV)
An Interesting Factoid
According to the website Energy Muse, rubies bring love and passion and are associated with vitality and strong feelings. The gem stone ruby is the good luck stone of love, encouraging sensitivity in a relationship. Ruby also promotes clarity and wisdom allowing the wearer to attract wealth. Ruby strengthens the body’s immune system against infectious diseases. 2
Personally, I cannot attest to all these claims about rubies. However, if this was the common belief back in the day when Proverbs 31 was written, a virtuous wife was certainly held in high esteem. The comparison to rubies was not a trivial choice. The author understood the great value rubies would convey.
Unfortunately, in today’s western society and perhaps worldwide, the perceived value of the role of a wife has diminished considerably. Why is that? Certainly, negative factors like machismo add to the deflation of a woman’s value. But can all the blame be attributed to the unenlightened minority of the male sex? Even some misguided concepts stemming from the feminist movement may contribute to the devaluing of the standing and role of wives nowadays.
Recent history reveals the steady shift from the long-established home life where a wife and mother was a permanent fixture who maintained a high standard for herself, her family and home. World Wars I and II provided the call to action for women that inevitably changed the fabric of family life, perhaps forever. Women were needed in the workplace as their male counterparts went off to war. Once the wars were over and the men returned home (and in many cases they did not return), women needed and wanted to retain their newly acquired status, opportunities and freedom their efforts during the war provided. And rightly so.
The decades that followed the last World War ushered in an explosive advancement in women’s rights. Women were now entering professions never before held by the female gender. Great strides were made towards fair wages, acceptance in the workplace and equal opportunity. The pendulum swing, regarding a woman’s role in modern life, was an inevitable and natural occurrence. In just about every great movement, in order to change the status quo, a pendulum swing takes place and a complete shift of mentality goes from one extreme to another. When discussing women’s development in society over the last 100 years, one of the great shifts that took place went from appreciating the roles of wife and mother to almost scorning them.
The challenge today is to recapture and maintain the high regard and intrinsic value of being an excellent wife while retaining the positive advancement of women. Unfortunately, too many times we wives do not value our own role as we should. Instead of cultivating our character to better handle the challenges and responsibilities, we complain, make excuses and are mediocre. Then, we wonder why we are undervalued.
How much do you value your role as wife? Do you hold this facet of your life in high esteem? Do you have as much concentration and determination to grow in this role as you do in your profession?
An Incredible Quote
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill (born November 30, 1874 and died January 24, 1965) was a British politician who served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom from 1940 to 1945 and again from 1951 to 1955. As Prime Minister, Churchill led Britain to victory over Nazi Germany during World War II. Churchill was also an officer in the British Army, a non-academic historian, and a writer. He won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1953 for his overall, lifetime body of work.3
Now that is a résumé to be proud of, for sure. Yet, what did Churchill value above all that?
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to persuade my wife to marry me.” – Winston Chruchill4
Stop and think about the amazing implications of that statement. Churchill valued gaining his wife above becoming Prime Minister, winning the war over Nazi Germany and being awarded the Nobel Prize.
Just let that sink in for a moment.
Motivating Bible Verses
The more I read about, study and contemplate the idea of being a wife, the more I see and understand it has much more to do with my relationship with God than my relationship with my husband. In my role as a wife, I’m being called to be like Jesus in every aspect of my character in every moment of my day. It’s a spiritual approach to a challenging situation I find exhilarating and motivating. In my marriage, I do what I do to please God, who sees my effort and my heart even when my husband does not.
Consider these verses:
A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones. – Proverbs 12:4 (NIV)
Being a wife of noble character would figuratively make your husband feel like a king! The opposite would cause him to desire death!
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. – Proverbs 18:22 (NIV)
It is a blessing from God for a man to find a good wife. What surpasses a blessing from God?
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. – Proverbs 19:14 (NIV)
The value of houses and wealth is obvious to any of us. Yet a sensible and wise wife is a spiritual gift from God. Do we women recognize the value of that? If not, how can we expect others to value what we do and who we are?
How can you become a valued wife?
1. Start valuing yourself and your role as a wife.
Who you are and what you do as a wife will be valued by others if you value it.
Your value before God:
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16 (NIV)
This well-known verse sums up the incredible value God places on each one of us.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NIV)
God is omnipotent and the creator of all that is seen and unseen. Therefore, it amazes me that He takes the time and makes the effort to communicate to wives that particular female character traits are of great worth to Him.
Your value to your husband:
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value. – Proverbs 31:10-11 (NIV)
Imagine your husband acknowledging as long as he had you by his side, he’d lacked nothing of value. That’s powerful.
2. Stop undermining your worth.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. – Ephesians 4:1 (NIV)
In chapter 3, Paul urges the Ephesians to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge. In view of that statement, he then urges them in chapter 4 to live lives worthy of Christ. What would that look like? Would it include belittling your role as a wife or mother? Would it mean complaining about daily tasks or spending your time wishing you were in different circumstances? No! Because of Christ, everything we do and everything we are has the potential to be used by God to accomplish great things.
3. Decide to be invaluable.
Show me someone who does a good job, and I will show you someone who is better than most and worthy of the company of kings. – Proverbs 22:29 (GNT)
I worked for many years as a secretary. The profession has many similarities to being a wife. In fact, among secretaries you may often hear them refer to their boss as their “work husband.” The best secretaries (those in high demand) anticipate needs, hope for the best and plan for the worst-case scenarios. They keep important information at their fingertips and their number one goal is to become invaluable. The best bosses know, appreciate and greatly value the assistants’ role, knowing how difficult it would be to get the job done without them.
Are you invaluable to your “home husband?” Becoming an invaluable wife is a decision coupled with a plan that is motivated by Christ.
Decide to be a gem. Decide to be a jewel. And you’ll be treasured.
A wife of noble character, she is valued.